It's Shake N Bake, and I Helped

It was so nice to have Mom here, if even only for the day. She was down for an overdue visit to see Grandpa. We stayed up until Midnight playing Family Feud. I kicked Mom's ass. It was a good night. Up early, of course, and we went to feed those bottle calves. Holy Shit!! Those pink piggies were on the pregnant sow. They broke out and were going to town getting some fresh milk. I was laughing and pointing. Mom quickly pointed out that there were little black babies under those pink piggies. Marilyn was in labor. I got those stupid pink pigs out of that pen and started counting. We had 5 already. Woohoo!!! Mom stayed the morning to help me. We had 9 total. 6 Girls and 3 Boys!! I only had to fetch one. Glad Mom was here. She is always so much fun!! And of course, always good for that belly roll laugh.

Meat Chickens

I hate stinky meat chicks!! They have to be kept in the house, due to the fact we have no electricity in the barn. All they do is eat and shit. 'You smell that? Do you smell that?...Chicken Shit, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. I love the smell of chicken shit in the morning. Smells like - victory. Some day, this war's gonna end.' Can't wait!! Gotta go clean 'em up. At least the house won't stink for at least 8 hours.

A Goat's Life

Dan may have saved a goat's life today. Well, not his life, but at least his dignity. With all the drama going on here in the last 24 hours (that's wierd), 'T' had been ignored. Mind you, not one single sound came from him. Yesterday morning while moving pigs, the dog managed to get into the goat/sheep pen. I yelled for him to get out and I guess in the heat of the moment he was smart enough to get in, but not to get out. I went to open the gate and noticed 'T' had his head stuck through the gate. I tried to get him to move, but he just stayed there. Fine, I opened the gate with 'T's head in it and let the damn dog out. Off to the rest of my chores. Didn't even give it a second thought. And last night while the cow was birthing, I pointed and laughed. 'Look, 'T' is sitting down like a dog. What a stupid goat!' Again, that was it. Went on with my business. This morning, we had another cow calving. I was watching her and trying to get a jump start on my feeding. While feeding, I noticed that 'T' was in the same position that I had left him in YESTERDAY morning. Genius! I tried to get him unstuck. Not happening. Rita came by to look at the calf and tried to help me get him out of the gate. Still wasn't happening. Rita and I both decided the gate was worth more than the goat. That being said, the horns have gotta go. Now, I put a lot of thought into how I would cut them. I didn't want to take them all the way off. Just 2-3 inches oughta do. I could probably get away with just removing a little off one side, but I decided that he would look like a complete moron. I happen to mention it to Dan when he called. He told me to just cut the damn gate. He didn't want 'T' to look stupid. So snip-snip with the bolt cutters and he was free. Not that he noticed. I had to move him before he realized that was unstuck. He is one lucky goat to still have those horns. If it were up to me, they would've been gone. Dan didn't save his life, just his pride!

The Big Hunt

Now that I am unemployed and have a little time on my hands, I decided I should go hang with my Momma. What is there to do in Cascade this time of year? Well, it is time to go mushroom hunting. I have never been and only tried my first Morel last year when Mom brought some down. They are ugly as hell, but to my surprise, are pretty tasty. Austin and I got up at the butt crack of dawn to get chores done so when can get up the hill at a decent time. We picked up Mom and off we went. I had told Mom to call all her resources and find us a good place. I don't think any calls were made. Three miles or so after the turn off, she informed me that the place we want to go is about 12 miles up the road. Would have been nice if she would have told me that when we first turned! She said no problem, just look for the smokey the bear sign and that is where we need to turn. About 30 minutes later, I told her we have gone WAY over 12 miles. Just a little further she said. "Oh, we've hit the snow! We've gone too far" Really mom? They must've move smokey. We never did find him. We did try a little dirt road on the way back down the mountain and can you believe it? I found a mushroom!! I screamed and it echoed through the forest for miles. I was so thrilled. We are on our way to an fantastic find! There has to be more right here! That was the only one we found. Now, I might be new at this, but I do believe you actually have to get out of the car and walk into the forest to find mushrooms. I mean, it has to take a little hunting. Right? That is definately not Karen's plan. I swear she would get out of the car, Walk 100 feet and declare that this is not the area we should be in. We spent 3/4 of the day in the car. Awesome! Before we left home, stopped at the Valley Club. I learned more about mushroom hunting in 5 minutes in the bar than I had learned in six hours in the car with Mom. "Did you flick it before you picked it?" " Were you on the North side of the mountain?" "Did you try up by Snow Bank?" We are going to try again tomorrow. We'll see if I was paying attention in the bar. Oh, and of course, still love Karen! Always good for some laughs. She did put a little effort into it and she is willing to take my smart ass again tomorrow

The Owl Ninja

Drama Ranch!! On Thursday, Austin came home and called me at work. He said 'Mom, there is an owl in the chicken coop and it has killed two chickens' Great, I couldn't even imagine this happening. He wanted to know what he should do. I told him 'Just get him out.' Of course, Austin being the over reactor that he is replied 'Mom, it has huge talons and pointed beak!! It's gonna claw my eyes out!' I basically told him to buck up and at least go put a bucket or something over it til I get home and then I will take care of it. He wanted to get his BB gun and shoot it. I had to explain to him that A - I don't think a BB gun will do anything but piss the bird off and B - I was 99% sure that it is illegal to hurt an owl. So that being said he was off to try and 'capture' the owl. I hung up the phone and was talking to my co-worker about the situation. He said that Fish & Game would probably go fetch it. My next move was to call F&G. I explained my situation and the gentlemen on the phone assured me that it was not an owl in my chicken coop. It was a chicken hawk and no, they don't really want to come and get it. Hmmm...I am assuming that the chicken hawk is nothing like the little tough guy that hangs out with Foghorn Leghorn. So, I google it. I must have pulled up the scariest picture ever of a Chicken Hawk. The page showed a very mean, super large bird that in my mind was something that could probably hurt someone in an enclosed area. It has a five foot wingspan. Very, very scary!! Did I say that already. And yes, I just sent my kid out to play with it. Panic quickly sets in and I call home. Of course, no answer. My kid is right now in the chicken coop with the large scary bird that is probably going to kill him. I am such a good mommy! Okay, hmmm, call Rita. She can at least stop by the house and tell Austin that 'never mind the bird, your mom's an ass'. Rita answers and I hear screaming in the background. She is with Austin, watching him catch the 'bird'. It wasn't a mean ol' chicken hawk, just a mean ol' great horned owl. I would of been scared, I know Austin was scared, but he is now the Owl Ninja. How many kids can say that? Check out the pics!!

Really? I am very busy!

Another interesting episode this morning on Drama Ranch. I had been patiently waiting for babies all day. I must have made a half dozen trips out to the barn yesterday in the freezing ass cold. At 10:00, I made my last check and then nighty night for me. At 2:00, Dan and I heard knocking on the door. The cows were in the front yard. Every damn one of them. Thankfully, someone stopped(No, the cows didn't knock) and let us know. Those stupid cows were happily snacking on our grass. Dan was such a trooper and said he would go out by himself. Probably had to do with the large amount of whining I was doing. Dan got those cows moving in the right direction. Just a bale or two of hay and they came running. Now, how am I going to get back to sleep? Dan popped his head in the back door and said we have babies, hurry! What? Are you fucking kidding me? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get dressed to go spend hours in the barn when you are half alseep? Oh yeah, and don't forget to hurry. Find thermals. Oh wait, I don't have thermals. Find sweats. Check. I need thick socks. Find my bibs. Check, check. I put on a large sweat shirt and managed to stuff it into my bibs. In cast you can't picture that, let me reassure you, I looked like a fucking tard. Top that off with my muckers and cardhardt. Oh, so hot. I managed to get out to the barn in record time. Four babies were already here. I found a fifth one buried in the straw. We came in around 5:00 this morning. Seven beautiful babies in all! I will try to post pic later today. Stay tuned....